Why Couples Argue About Porn

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In many conventional types of relationships, a top argument topic is porn watching. Some people think that watching porn is harmless fun, while others see it more like cheating. This can lead to a lot of strife in relationships, but Sex Therapist Marty Klein, who has been in the industry for 35 years, has some advice on the topic according to The Mercury News. According to Dr. Klein, since the year 2000 or so, when internet porn became more of a thing, the number of clients coming to his office arguing about porn consumption has increased a lot, simply because porn is a lot more available. Luckily, Klein is there to help them. On a personal level he believes the strife that porn can cause in relationships is completely unnecessary and that it’s only due to the media’s portrayal of porn as something that isn’t good. According to Klein, porn is often used as the scapegoat in a relationship for someone’s insecurities and bad behavior. If a guy is watching porn then his partner must not be enough, right? Wrong!

For the most part, according to Klein, it’s the women who have a problem with porn consumption, and the guys who want to watch it. Either the girlfriend or wife has an issue with porn in the first place, the type of porn watched or the fact that their partners watch porn but don’t want to have a lot of sex in real life. However, Klein suggests that the answer to all of these problems is not to cut porn out of your life, but to have more honest and open conversations about sex and what you really want in your sex life. He says that it’s important for couples to address what monogamy means for them before diving into marriage. Does that mean it’s OK to watch porn or not? Is flirting off the table or having friends of the opposite gender? By identifying boundaries before jumping into things, couples will save themselves a lot of problems later down the road.

The truth is that in many couples and relationships who view porn as a destructive factor in their relationship, porn is not the issue at all. It’s really communication and expectations. Porn can even be a help to a relationship because couples can watch it together to get an idea of new things they want to try in bed, or as a precursor and part of foreplay before a hot encounter. If a couple hasn’t been feeling too sexy lately, watching a porn movie can get the juices flowing and can make the bedroom a happier place. Most problems that couples face can be solved by more self awareness and talking to each other. The hardest part is being honest with yourself about what you really want, and then the second hardest part is communicating that to your partner. You can’t be afraid to stand your ground, but you also need to be prepared to be a little flexible in the name of love and cooperation. Maybe people who have a problem with porn just need to relax a little bit and get their freak on! Loosen up and try watching it, you might be surprised!

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